In the Night
by Strong in the force
Summary: Rey and Ben have a child. Rey gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby and reflects on their life together.


The infant's cries aroused her from her sleep. Groggily she lifted the fussy babe from the bassinet.

"Do you need any help?" He murmured with his eyes closed.

"No, we'll be okay," she replied, as she and the small baby slipped from their bedroom.

The infant's cries were stilled at her mother's breast. Listening to the infant's quiet feeding sounds, she studied her small frame. They'd decided that she had her mother's chin and definitely her father's ears. She'd come out with a head full of black hair like her dad's. Rey smiled gently taking in her features.

Deciding to have a child seemed like the ultimate declaration of hope. They had gone back and forth for months arguing about whether it was the "right" time to welcome a child into this galaxy. She'd been hesitant—would she be a good mother? She barely remembered her own. He was ready to be a father before she was ready to be a mother.

"What's holding you back?" He'd asked one afternoon as they were finishing dishes.

"For so long, all I've ever wanted was a family," she'd began. "I've been without one almost longer than I can remember—I just—I'm afraid."

"Of?" He'd pursued. He'd crossed his arms at that point and leaned with his back against the sink.

"Messing them up. Abandoning them. Not having any clue what I'm doing..."

"You know that we'll figure this out together? Just like everything in life." He'd placed his hands gently on the sides of her face. "And we will mess them up—I think that just comes with the territory."

She'd smiled.

The tiny babe's hand wrapped itself around her finger. She continued suckling away as Rey gently stroked her baby's face. Outside morning doves twittered an early greeting.

He'd cried when she was born. As soon as she'd entered this world, his eyes welled up with love.

"I'm so proud of you, Love," he'd beamed through tears.

Rey'd held the newborn baby on her chest and felt like her heart might explode from love.

"She's so gorgeous," he'd said, gently kissing Rey's forehead. "You did so amazing, Mama,"

That was when she'd started to cry. When he'd whispered the word Mama to her. The emotions of this new identity, this transcendent experience, this incredible love all came flooding into her body, and she'd wept from joy. Their love had created her.

"I love her so much," she'd whispered to him through her tears.

"I'll do everything I can to protect you from harm, little one," he'd told her as held her sleeping form. He'd taken a turn holding her while Rey rested from labor. She'd beamed at him from across the room knowing that his promise was true.

He'd been living that promise ever since that fateful day on Exogol. They'd defeated total darkness together. Overcome their family's worst nightmare side by side. He'd turned from the ways of darkness just as she knew he would. Together, they'd found balance in the force.

The great darkness of the Galaxy was no longer calling to each of them, but they struggled to find peace even after. He'd wake up screaming some nights from nightmares that tormented him. He'd turned from darkness, but his life in the dark continued to follow him. She'd find him meditating early in the morning to calm his spirit. She'd believed he was apologizing. Apologizing to his family, to those he'd killed along the way, to her. He'd meditate so intensely she couldn't tell if he was sweating or crying. Perhaps both, she'd thought.

"I've wasted so much time," he'd told her, while they were out walking one day. She'd been pregnant for a few months at that point. "I wasted so many happy years with my parents, wasted years listening to a voice inside my head..."

"They were years that were stolen from you." She'd responded gently, placing a hand on his arm. "You can't go and get back that time or those memories, but let's not waste the time that we do have. He can't hurt either of us anymore. But regret and anger will lead us back down that path."

"I know." He'd whispered quietly.

She'd been so proud of the ways he felt the darkness inside of him and released it. Felt it and let it go. Mastering the balance of the force. She'd been even more overjoyed as he leaned into the light. As they created moments of joy together and as his smile appeared more and more.

The baby had fallen asleep at her breast. Rey gently unlatched her as her sleepy husband walked into the room.

"I can change her," he offered, stifling a yawn.

She yawned in reply, "Thank you."

He stooped down and kissed her forehead, before lifting the sleeping baby from her arms.

From the changing table, he whispered, "How has your night been?"

"Fine. This is her first time up. How have you been sleeping?"

"Good. I think I'm having fewer and fewer nightmares these days."

"Yeah, I'd noticed that." She crossed her arms and leaned against the door frame. She took him in. His tall frame gently changing their small baby. His black hair was unkempt around his face. It was almost time to cut it because she could see little curls forming around his ears. His flowy black shirt exposed his collarbone and she wanted to nestle her head right there.

"What are you doing?" He'd caught her staring.

"Admiring my husband."

He picked up the clean baby and rocked her gently as he made his way towards his wife.

"Oh, well that's allowed." He planted a tender kiss on her lips.

They made their way back to the bedroom and he placed their baby in her bassinet. They stood next to it for a moment admiring her.

"Sometimes I still can't believe she's here." He sighed dreamily.

"I know. She's so perfect." Rey wrapped her arms around him, placing her head in his collarbone. His chin rested on her forehead.

Everyday they'd worked to bring balance to the force. It was a journey of knowing the light and the darkness of the galaxy. Of finding their place in the midst of this all. It was a journey of hope in a future made of their own choosing. They were living that hope each and everyday.

"I love you, Rey," he whispered, kissing her forehead tenderly.

She smiled and closed her eyes, "I love you, Ben."


End file.
